Standing at the Crossroads

I played basketball tonight and we lost by four points. I choked; I had the ball under the ring with twenty two seconds remaining in the game and I failed. I didn't miss the shot; as a matter of fact I didn't shoot at all, rather then shoot I decided to pass the ball out so that my teammate, Nathaniel, could put up a three. I thought that if he nailed the shot we could reclaim the ball score two more points and win the game. Good in theory but I was unaware that in the spilt second that I had decided on this course of action Nathaniel had moved. Only after the ball had left my hand did I realise the error of my ways. The opposing team took full advantage of my mistake, retrieved the ball and went on to win the game. What makes it worse is that the end result would have been different if the purpose of the plan I had created was to win the game. I didn't create the plan to win the game; I created the plan to get rid of the ball, I was sacred. I didn't want the ball, in short, I choked. I failed not only my teammates but myself. I failed myself when I let fear take me in and be my master. I had the ball, and therefore I had control over the game, I had the power to win the game, and I choked.

Throughout my entire life I have failed consistently to grab a hold of greatness and run with it. I had the skill and the talent as a teenage to become a professional sportsman in whichever sport I choose to take on. Instead of living my dreams, I have spent my life being frustrated with myself because of my inability to overcome the pressure associated with being a professional sportsman. In a nutshell I'm a choker. I could, until his recent U.S. Master win, associate myself closely with Phil Mickelson. I, like Michelson have the talent and the skill but I just can't seem to convert that into a victory.

So what happens now? Am I destined to live in a constant state of frustration? Will fear forever control my life? Is it possible to overcome the past twenty one years of failure? Do I have what it takes to let go of the past and take control of the future? Only time will till for I have dreamed of working for MFB (Metropolitan Fire Brigade) for some time now. I really, really desire to be firefighter, I believe I would be real